Life Roast: bright and bold

3-8-07

Wow, it’s been quite a while since I’ve been able to get out and write on here. I am now living in Pennsylvania. I’m at a coffee shop in New Wilmington called Mugsies sipping on a cup of Café Rojos. After asking where this coffee came from and seeing the look on this “barista’s” face I realized I’ve crossed the line. This line that I speak of may not be what you think. I have not crossed a line that other people draw and expect you to stay behind. I have crossed a line that shows I am officially a coffee aficionado. This word can be shortened into using the word fanatic. I am a coffee fanatic. Fanatic means, “Insane person”. I prefer to use the latin root “fanaticus” which means to be “insanely but divinely inspired”. Yes that’s it. I am insanely, but divinely inspired for my love of coffee. This is the line that I speak of.

Over the last few months I have been roasting my own green coffee beans at home. I enjoy this process of taking a raw material and creating something so pleasurable out of it. The little green bean looks so unappealing in its green form but when it is roasted, ground, and brewed (in whatever manner one prefers); all senses become engaged in the final product. In their original form they all look very much alike, with a few differences in color, size, and weight; but when finished every cup is different based on the process the endured.

I have been going through this process myself and I know it is because I am being crafted into a unique and complex “cup” with a combination of dry fragrance, wet aroma, brightness, depth, body, and finish. I have even recently been “ground” when I underwent back surgery. I will say that the process is uncomfortable but with the end in mind it is easier to withstand.

I have been recently struggling to fully understand what “the end” is. I know that Jesus is going to return, judgment is going to happen, and I will be spending eternity with Him but what about prior to His return. I will be living my life to “worship” Him but what does that look like today, tomorrow, in three years? I see how I am going through the process of becoming a “man after God’s own heart.” That is what I want, what I desire, but what does that mean for me? If I die before He returns I want to look back and see that my life made a difference. Why do I want my life to make a difference? What kind of difference do I want my life to make, on what, on whom, where at? The deeper I go into these questions the more I realize that the emphasis must be on the process. The way that I enjoy crafting a cup of coffee must be the way that I should enjoy being crafted. It is easy to do all kinds of crazy things to a bean like heating them to 400+ degrees and making them crack once or twice when you are removed from the process. How much harder it would be to go through that process but what a better appreciation, understanding, and love would you have if you did go through it. I know that this is what Jesus did for us. God has become fully involved and understands everything far better than I because not only did He create everything but He also knows first hand what I’m going through. He knows what it feels like to deal with the weight of sin, and knows what it is like to conquer. He knows how to fight, how to serve, how to lead, how to cry, how to rejoice, how to eat, drink, live, love, and move.

I do not know what I am going to turn out like but I don’t want to shortcut any of the processes. I want to undergo the screening process when necessary so that I will get rid of the broken pieces. I want to soak up the heat so that I will expand my capabilities even if it darkens my view of the world. I want to feel the pain of the daily grind so that I can fully appreciate the flavor of life. I want to rest when I need to so that my body will be enhanced. After all is said and done I want to be used up by my expiration date so that I will be fully effective in producing all that I can.